Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
