So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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