Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So drunk its hurt
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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