I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
