Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
