he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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