So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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