i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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