id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
