I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sorry about my life...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
