I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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