This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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