I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just puked most of my soul out..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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