you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Bring me that man meat
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
