How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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