North Korea, Best Korea!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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