i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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