I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
