got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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