Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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