his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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