I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize