In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
