is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
