On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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