dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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