Screwed.edu
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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