didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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