where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
