These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
