They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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