Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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