I could make wine with my vomit
a search helicopter?!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
