I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
