I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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