Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
