I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
