i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
