The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
