they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
