What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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