In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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