I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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