STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
