I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
