can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
