do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
