Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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