i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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