I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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