I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
