I met the friendliest cop last night
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
